It could be that you are making resolutions that you think you Should make, not the ones you truly Want to make. That “should” thing can really get you tangled up because it’s not coming from your heart, it’s coming from a sense of guilt, obligation, fear, wanting to fit in, societal pressure…..you fill in the blanks.
If the changes you want to make come from outside of you, it’s no wonder that they don’t stick. They are just another example of how we “try to do the right thing” but it may not be “your right thing”. It may be that it conflicts with something else you want
Example: I want to lose 20 pounds vs I want to truly enjoy good food and my life. When there is a conflict like that which one do you think is going to win?
Example 2: I want to double my income vs I want to spend time with my friends/family/creating art/writing.
Which one of these is coming from a Should, and which is coming from a heart/soul desire? Would really going for the “should” deny the other? Is there a way to include both in your life and switch the “should” to a true heart/soul desire.
Let’s look at losing weight. What are the potential benefits and how can that include enjoying good food and life?
- I would feel better 20 pounds lighter and have more energy – enjoy life more.
- I could learn to cook delicious, healthy food that would up my energy level – enjoy life more.
- I would look and feel great in my clothes – enjoy life more.
- I would feel better about myself – enjoy life more.
- I could get together with friends and share recipes and even cook together – enjoy life more.
You have changed the entire intent behind losing 20 pounds from one of denial and constriction to one which embraces and includes your intent to enjoy your life more. When your resolution comes from a deeper place of pleasure rather than pain it’s much easier to stick to it, it’s about saying Yes to Life instead of No.
Write down a list of things to do to accomplish your goal and make a plan…also allow that you may not stick to it absolutely all the time. Too often we set ourselves up for failure by asserting that if we don’t follow the plan perfectly we’ve failed. When we fail we tend to drop the whole thing. If you allow some flexibility, then you don’t tend to feel that sense of failure and it’s easier to just readjust and go back to it with a new intent the following day.
Say “Yes” to 2013 and yourself and truly enjoy your life.